Over my career as a sex therapist, I have had the opportunity to sit with thousands of men as they discuss their sexual feelings, sex lives, and fantasies. Obviously I don’t know what it feels like to be a man, but I have had the honor of listening to the male perspective of sexual relationships. And, while every man is different, of course, there are some common themes: Sex begins in the body. While women’s desire for sex may be prompted by their mind, memory or emotional feelings of connection, for men, desire is physical. Men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their bodies, pushing and driving them toward sexual expression. Erections spring at the slightest provocation in young men. And for an adult man, seeing his wife or partner coming out of the shower naked causes his body to react. It is hard to overestimate the way his body chemistry directs his mind’s psychology toward the sexual. For men, sex is a hunger. The craving for sex is like a cr...
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